How did I get here?

The short version: I was pressured into going straight to a university right after high school. Hated almost everything I studied because I was chasing the Idea of Stability (America's biggest commodity). Found my way into a couple internships in the music industry on almost a whim. Realized, not for the first time, that I never excel unless I want to. I never want to unless I'm inspired. 

Even though I'm no longer rubbing elbows with musicians, I don't look back on my brief stint in music as a waste of time. It was never something I embarked trying to make it big behind the scenes. I never dreamed of glory, and certainly not money (both my internships were unpaid - though I did enjoy a pretty generous stipend for my commute from my first one). I approached my first internship as a way of derailing every avenue I had previously thought possible for myself. Among many things, it taught me that my path doesn't have to meet anyone's expectations but my own.

That being said, I hardly did any work I was proud of while I was working in music. Some of that has to do with my low positions, more of that has to do with my lack of initiative. I could see that the people around me found pride in the Hustle, whereas I was more accustomed to finding pride in my Results. I didn't result in much of anything.

So, in the purgatory of unemployment, I started baking. But, to me, it's more than just making raw ingredients edible - it's creating. For the first time, I'm feeling that sense of pride in the Hustle, as well as reaping the rewards in the Results. I hesitate to call myself an artist (hard pass) but I imagine this is similar to how an artist feels. 

These cupcakes are simple to put together, but taste as complex and layered as any regular cake. In fact, I made a cake version of these cupcakes for my friend Youma's birthday, so don't write these off as lowly little Sprinkles-wannabes. 

Three elements to this cupcake: chocolate cake, blackberry jam, and basil buttercream. You're about to get two recipes in one post (because I'm not gonna lie, I'm too lazy to make blackberry jam from scratch when store-bought tastes just fine), which hopefully makes up for my lack of posting sooner. 

This chocolate recipe results in a light, spongey cupcake. Just the right amount of chocolate that it complements the blackberry and basil without overpowering them or leaving a heavy, cloyingly rich chocolate taste in your mouth.

The basil buttercream is definitely something special. I had never made a cooked flour buttercream before trying my hand at this, but now I think it'll be my go-to. Because it requires cooking milk and flour together, it's perfect for flavor infusions you would otherwise need extracts for.

Chocolate Cupcakes: 

Adapted from Handle the Heat. Yields 15 cupcakes. Which is annoying because a regular cupcake pan makes 12 so there's that extra batter you have to either waste or use a second pan for. 

Ingredients:

• 1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
• 1/2 cup granulated sugar
• 1/2 cup brown sugar
• 3/4 tsp baking soda
• 1/4 tsp salt
• 4 tbsp butter, cut into cubes
• 2/3 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips
• 1/4 cup cocoa powder
• 1/2 cup boiling water
• 1/2 cup buttermilk, room temp
• 1/3 cup sour cream, room temp
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 2 large eggs, room temp

Method:

• Line a cupcake pan (or two) with paper liners. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
• In a medium bowl, whisk or sift together the flour, the two sugars, baking soda, salt, and cocoa powder. Set aside.
• Place the butter and chocolate chips in a large bowl. Add the boiling water, then cover with foil and let sit for two to three minutes. Stir together until smooth.
• Add the buttermilk, sour cream, and vanilla to the chocolate mixture. Mix well.
• Beat in eggs, one at a time, into the chocolate mixture. Mix well after each egg.
• Add the flour mixture to the chocolate mixture. Fold together just until no streaks of flour show in the batter - no further.
• Use an ice cream scoop to pour batter into the cupcake tins, no higher than 2/3 full. Note: if you like your cupcakes without any muffin-esque overhang, only fill tins half-way. This recipe rises and domes nicely.
• Bake for about 18 minutes, or until the cake springs back when pressed lightly. 
• Remove from oven and let cool in pan on top of a wire rack for ten minutes, then remove the cupcakes from the tin and place them directly on the wire rack.

Basil Buttercream:

Adapted from The Vanilla Bean Blog. Yields enough for 20 cupcakes, or those 15 cupcakes you made plus extra for dipping those extra blackberries you bought for garnish. Just a suggestion.

Ingredients:

• 2 cups whole milk
• 1 1/2 cup fresh basil leaves, or more if in a hurry
• 1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
• 1/3 cup all purpose flour
• 1 1/2 cups (three sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature (or about 70 degrees if "room temperature" happens to be in the triple digits)
• 1/2 tsp pure vanilla extract
• 1/4 tsp mint or peppermint extract - less, if you can manage that. It's really just to enhance the freshness of the basil.

Method

• In a small pot, pour the milk and add the basil leaves (shred or muddle the basil leaves prior to adding). Bring to barely a simmer over medium heat, stirring constantly to avoid scorching. Remove from heat once tiny bubbles appear around the edges of the pan. Cover and let sit for four hours or more. Note: the more basil leaves, the less time the infusion needs to sit.
• After a few hours, strain the leaves from the milk; pour milk back into the pot. Add the flour and sugar, stirring to combine. Bring mixture to a boil, stirring occasionally (about 10 minutes). The mixture will thicken into a pudding, and will coat a wooden spoon without dripping.
• Remove from heat, transfer pudding to the bowl of a stand mixer. Mix on medium high with the paddle attachment to cool, about 10 minutes. 
• Decrease speed to low, add butter one cube at a time, pausing five seconds between each addition. Continue to mix on low for three minutes or until the butter is well incorporated, then increase speed to medium high. Whip until frosting is pale and fluffy. 

Assembly

• Use a spoon or knife to carve a small, cone-shaped hole in the center of the cooled cupcakes. Fill with blackberry jam. Pipe frosting as desired (I used Wilton tip #2D in the pictures above). Garnish with fresh blackberries.